I'm damn messed up....:(

I tried my best. I held on to it even though it was so tough. I accomodated. I accepted you for who you are. I gave in whenever I could. I said sorry even when I didn't think it was my fault. I stayed. I came back. I put my heart and soul in it...Just because I love you. :(

Dinner with Kenny

Dinner with Khengz tonight. He's been so busy these days that I rarely get to eat with him. That's when I start to treasure the little time I have with him. Yes, most of the time I end up complaining, but tonight was rather enjoyable.

I'd like to think that he's looking at me lovingly....

But he definitely was not....haha....

I'd still like to think that he's enjoying himself like I was too....

Went to Manhattan Fish Market. My treat. haha....he bought me a done good earphone tho. Thx. Food was not very nice. But I did enjoy eating with him.

I was wearing my cap cos it costed me 300HKD so I have to wear it more often, and I am having a really bad pimple outbreak. yucks!

And yes he's always reading when we're eating. Like....no respect.....

And this picture pretty sums up why I like him. (Hints: Who will do this in the MRT and still let his gf take a pic and put in her blog?)

Anyway, the song also pretty sums up what I'm feeling now. Like, I just can't imagine myself with someone else. Is really kinda like the enzyme-substrate relationship. I just wish that I can be very very sure that he loves me. But I can never be sure right? I can just be sure that I still love him like....a lot a lot a lot a lot.......

相依為命 - 陳小春

旁人在 淡出終於只有你共我一起

仍然自問幸福雖說有陣時為你生氣

其實以前和你互相不等得死心塌地

直到共你渡過多災世紀

* 即使身邊世事再毫無道理

與你永遠亦連在一起

你不放下我 我不放下你

我想確定每日挽住同樣的手臂

不敢早死要來陪住你 我已試夠(過)

別離並不很淒美 我還如何撇下你

獻盡了 雲湧風起 還怎麼捨得放下你

年華像細水沖走幾個愛人與知己

抬頭命運射燈光柱罩下來是我跟你

難道有人離去是想顯出好光陰 有限

讓我學會為你 貪生怕死

Repeat *

證明愛人又愛己 何以要那麼悲壯才合理

They keep saying that we're together for so long that everything become habitual, even my feelings for you. That's why I complain all the time.

But I know firmly how I feel towards this relationship. My love for you is so intense that it is almost tangible. I complain so much cos...I'm selfish...I guess somehow, deep inside, I want something in return. I'm not God.

But seeing you work so hard, I really can't complain anymore. My heart ached when I saw you alighting at the SBS bus stop after tuition, when I was going out for supper. Only then did I realise how selfish I was, to even take away the time you have for yourself.

I guess the fear of losing you is always there. I can almost feel it all over again, just like the previus time. That's another reason why I need to see you, to get some reassurance, to know that you're working so hard for not only you, but us.

I'm not perfect, far from it in fact. But God will see us through.

Do you know, life is so much better with you around.
Worshipping with you is the best thing to do on Sunday. :) I always want to hold your hand and worship together, but I know that you'll definitely resist. Anyway, I really believe that no matter what happens to us, God will see us through. :)

Went out today.

Grateful, that Kenny, being so tired still took time to go out with me.

Contented, ate nice food without having to pay a cent :p.

Shameful, for complaining when Kenny is trying hard to spend time with me.

Xin fu, after five years, we still love each other. :)

原來﹐我付出的﹐比我想像的來得多很多。一直都是以你為我的生活的中心。現在﹐我就好像一顆脫離軌道的行星﹐慢無目的的在虛無的宇宙孤獨漂浮. 而你﹐就繼續在銀河的中心﹐安然的被千顆萬顆行星圍繞著。那顆遙遠的,不起眼的小行星﹐已一點一滴的在你生活中消失。
這顆小行星﹐努力過﹐掙扎過﹐然而﹐到這一刻, 有點累了。就連放棄的力量﹐都使不出來。怕﹐怕放棄之後﹐會失去得更多。喜怒哀樂﹐都不由自主。眼前望的﹐漆黑一片.一切的希望﹐都離得很遠﹐很遠。

擁抱

I'm a person that needs physical contact. When all the words fail you, when nothing seems to be going right, somehow, a simple hug seems to melt down all those inexplanable emotions and soften any tense situations. It's almost like an injection straight into your vein, an instant cure.

When the world is getting colder and colder, when people are isolating themselves and wearing a mask everywhere, hugging is the most intimate action that expose your inner most emotions. Feelings flow between the two individuals, in the most intriguing way.

An old friend wrote:
但擁抱真係一樣好powerful的Body language，三個擁抱在o個一刻都無言語，但卻令人好感動的。擁抱好像將一個言語表達不到的愛傳到對方身上一樣，其實三套戲的擁抱都沒有言語去表達他們的愛，但觀眾一定感受到的！！！

I need some hug.

I really don't wanna get emotional all the time. Actually I was really ok with you going out with your friends and all. I was just telling KaWai that I was ok with you going out and seeing me when you're free. sigh....

I just hope that you can make more effort to see me. A lunch once in a while in school. Or come visit me when you finish your work for a while. :(

Let's calculate:
Once a week
= 4 times a month
= 4*12 = 48 times a year

How pathetic is that. :(

兩個人在一起﹐不是一件容易的事。我會好好珍惜神比我的一切。

Thanks. For yesterday and today. It was reassuring.

Dinner and Dance 2007

Photobucket Album

劉家玲話﹐對待男人﹐要好似放紙鳶咁﹐平時就放得佢遠一遠﹐得閒先收一收佢番o黎。收o下放o下, 放o下又收o下咁o咼.